2015 Christmas Card

Dear Family and Friends,

Another year has come and gone, and so have your Christmas cards. I am dismayed to announce that only 6.5% of the Hardy Family card that was sent out to relatives was dedicated to me, but 16% of the card was dedicated to my youngest brother and the fact that he needs to let out the hem on his Sunday pants because he is growing taller. Plans to dominate the Christmas card next year include eating plenty of Big Macs and putting on enough weight so the family picture is essentially me with my brothers and sister peeking out from around my enlarged quadruple chins. Stay tuned.

Christmas cards are an interesting concept to me. Hundreds of our closest friends and family dumped 200-some cards into the mail on December 1st all saying the same thing: 2015 was a good year for our family. We did lots of cool things. (Insert a list of cool things done) Merry Christmas! We hope you have a great New Year! This is sometimes accompanied by a family picture in which everyone is forced into wearing an unflattering yet matching sweater. This is great, and I love looking through cards from people I care about.  However, more often than not I finish reading a card wishing the author had included a bit more about their year instead of the traditional message. As I was only allotted one line in the family card, I have taken the liberty of writing a little more here:

2015 was a good year for me. I started teaching 6^th grade, which I assume is similar to motherhood (mediating playground drama, listening to stories that sometimes don’t make sense, etc.) without the tax benefits. Within the same day I was told that my outfit was “on fleek” by one student and asked if I was pregnant by another. I’ve taught them important things like finding percentages but also things like how to manage a ‘thug life’ while also doing homework.

I did lots of cool things. I convinced my dad to set up a Twitter account. (#prouddaughter) I threw up on the floor of the church hall during Sacrament meeting. For three straight months after I graduated I used the “I don’t know, maybe we should ask someone with a BACHELOR’S OF SCIENCE to answer that question” quip whenever anyone asked a question ranging from what temperature to cook a casserole at to what we should do that evening. I took a total of four passport pictures until the lady at the desk said, “Okay, I think your eyes are open enough in this one.” After she had printed the picture she decided my eyes WEREN’T open enough, so we took it a few more times until she printed out a photo that I think is of me if I was actually an American espionage. I tweeted at Barack Obama and also Donald Trump. (Still awaiting their responses, but I am confident they will reply as soon as their busy schedules permit) I sent a text to someone using the wrong there/they’re/their spelling and was so embarrassed I wanted to burn my phone in a furnace. My annual tradition continued and I made a gingerbread house that collapsed within minutes of making it. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Above all, take a little time to remember the true reason for celebrating the Christmas season. This past week I had an unexpected visit from two of my favorite neighbors bringing boxes of books to my classroom as a gift from my old Relief Society. My students were so excited and I was so touched that there are so many good-hearted  people in the world. Nothing brings the Spirit of Christ into someone’s life like sweet selfless service. (I’m not really sure, but does shoveling snow count even though usually half the snow I lift up ends on my sister’s head? Comments welcome.)

Merry Christmas!